Have you ever started something and never finished it? Maybe you built up a good routine exercising daily, walking after dinner, started that new course, writing that book then it fizzled away. All those weeks or months of progress gone. Another one bites the dust. What makes people start and then stop or give up? Many people, myself included get frustrated and disappointed in ourselves.
I recently experienced this again on my health journey. Exercise has never been something I enjoy or look forward to. So throughout the years, it was rare I exercised at all. If I did, it was a week here or a month there. The only reason is purely lack of enjoyment in the process. Then, one day last year while shopping for clothes, I was completely miserable because nothing fit the way it should. The entire experience was frustrating and disappointing. It’s easy to blame the clothing companies, and trust me, they are definitely partially at blame, but the reality is I was to blame. I did not like the person looking back at me in the mirror. In your 20s and even 30s, you can get away without exercising, but as each decade passes, time isn’t so forgiving. You must put in the work to be the best version of yourself.
That day I left the mall motivated for change. First, I was mad at myself for allowing it to get to that point. Then, I journaled the experience, documenting everything I felt and why. That week I started exercising and didn’t look back. Things were good, and I developed a consistent routine 6-7 days per week. Even with travel and weekends, I kept going. About a month later, there were little noticeable changes in my body. The constant soreness was decreasing, more strength in my arms, thinning all around, baby muscles started to develop. This motivated me to keep going.
Then, life got really busy – more travel, more work, more family obligations. First, I stopped working out on the weekends. Then, I stopped working out when traveling. Then, I missed so many days I couldn’t get restarted again. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. But why? Don’t they say if you do something for 30 days, it turns into a habit? This is true, but it doesn’t mean you will not falter.
The example provided is regarding health and exercise, but this could apply to anything. Did you start that course to get certified and never finish or take the exam? Did you start writing the book and never finish chapter 2? Did you start building a website and never published it?
There are several reason why you may start something and not follow through:
- Lack of clarity: Sometimes our goals are too broad or fuzzy. Without a clear vision, you can hit a roadblock.
- Not connected to your Why: Why is this goal important to you? What is your motivation to make this happen?
- Perfectionism/Unrealistic expectations: Many people fear the results will not be perfect. Often the fear is one’s own unrealistic expectations.
- The Comparison Trap: Social media is a breeding ground for envy. Comparing your messy middle to someone else’s highlight reel is complete discouragement.
So how do you push through when things get tough?
- Reconnect with your Why: What initially sparked your motivation? Why is this important to you? What is the ultimate purpose? How will it improve my life? Reflecting and reconnecting with your “Why” can reignite your enthusiasm.
- Break it down: Breaking your goal into manageable tasks can significantly boost your chances of completing them. This makes the process less overwhelming and provides clear milestones. Use SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound) and create a schedule. Here is a breakdown of SMART goals:
- Specific: Exactly what do you want to achieve?
- Measurable: How will you track your progress?
- Achievable: Is this goal realistic and attainable?
- Relevant: Does this goal align with your overall purpose?
- Time-Bound: When do you want to accomplish this goal
- Develop a growth mindset: See challenges as stepping stones for growth!
- Reward yourself: Acknowledge your efforts along the way! Celebrate your wins, big or small, to keep yourself motivated.
- Find your Village: Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in you. An encouraging friend, mentor, or online community can make a world of difference.
- Practice Self compassion: There will be days when motivation dips and you don’t follow through. Be kind to yourself!
- Refocus and come back stronger: Don’t beat yourself up for setbacks. Acknowledge them, learn from them, and recommit to your goals.
After two months without exercising, I am back at it again. What took so long? Well, once you stop, it’s easy to quickly fall back onto bad habits. There are no excuses, just a disconnection between my why and clarity. All the progress and strength made is gone, and again, that unhappiness in myself crept back in. This time though, I allowed myself grace for all of the other business that happened during the last couple of months. There is no-one to blame. No one thing happened.
It’s a journey, not a destination. There will be setbacks, but the key is to be kind to yourself, learn from them, and keep pushing forward. What are some of your biggest challenges with sticking to goals? Share your experiences in the comments below.
Keep pushing forward to achieve your goals, dreams and desires.
